Hey you

Hey you
Just a note
before you’re off
into the grime
of the land
that’s stuck in time
the land of scattered hope
and broken backs
that need to cope
with the certainty
that there is no way back.
You don’t have to carry that weight.
You’re a rock.
To sit on.
A sea.
That lightens the load
but comes and goes
A tree with a branch strong enough to hang a swing on.
The wind’ll do the rest.
Hey you
Just a note before you leave
the land where even the dark is gentle
to plunge into the grim grey
of never being safe.
I know there’s so much to be done.
And there is so much you can do.
But there’s also
only so much.
You can.
Do.
For all those people
stranded
clutching
shards of dreams
in their hands,
‘Cause there’s always the fear
of their pockets being picked.
Their hands cut on the sharp edges
of a life they had to break
in order to take
some of it
with them
Their hands bleeding.
Tears.
Hey you.
Remember.
You don’t have to stop the bleeding.
You’re a rock.
To sit on,
so someone can open his hand and look at that shard.
You’re a sea.
so someone can wash away the dirt that got stuck on her one last dream
You’re a tree.
That’s there.
That’s strong enough.
Rooted enough.
In this world.
So someone
can
– for a second –
feel the wind
and keep hanging on
to that one shard,
that’s dear life.
Bye you
Be safe
©10-09-2017

alleen variaties – 1

“Je wordt alleen geboren,”
grapte iemand tegen me
in een poging me op te beuren
Ja, het was zo’n avond
zo’n avond in een verdraagzaam verlichte bar
– die ruikt naar bier van vier dagen geleden
dat inmiddels een eigen leven leidt
bruisender dan het mijne… –
waarvan ik hoopte dat het de laatste was
maar het niet zeker wist.

Sommige noemen ze zaterdagen

“je wordt alleen geboren,”
het was een avond
waarop ik me liet opbeuren door een zak
met een slecht gevoel voor humor
en blijkbaar geen moeder.

a green field with just one daisy

I climbed up a hill
To get some distance
Between the way the creek cracked the valley
and what it did to me
I walked through the woods
that’s what I needed
To make it to the top all clear eyed
and rosy-cheeked
And when I was there
It felt like a lotta miles
between me and the last time I cried.
I knew I didn’t want to double back
Didn’t know where I was going
But I was on the right track
This path was mine,
even though it had no sign
I couldn’t even see past the first bend
so I picked myself up
and that’s where I went
Just when I was about to get tired
I smelt this fire
turned right,
And in the flickering light
Just of the road
There was a lumberjack
with a back
so strong
he could carry me and my load
for ever so long.
I climbed over the fence
walked up to this bear of a man
in a green field with just one daisy
Maybe it was crazy
But to me it all made sense

the difference between a rock and a hard place

I’m a fool
I know
I trip over things
usually with a beverage in my hand.
Get in the wrong train
End up stranded, in the middle of nowhere,
Usually with the last train just left
I’m a fool
I know.
I have a nice pattern
of burnmarks on my arm,
of where I got stuck to the hot stove.
But if you want your boileg egg peeled when it’s hot
That’s not
a problem for me
Anymore
Cause I’ve sure got asbestos hands
That’s the kinda fool I am
I’m a fool
I know
Trip into someone’s arms
And lose myself there
Add another burn to my heart
Even fall apart
Fool myself there’s no way out
of what ever cluster fuck
But I ain’t stupid
And I sure don’t need no luck
Cause I’m a fool
I know
That’s just my DNA
And in any case
I’d rather be a fool who lost it
than someone stupid
who let the chance of love
get away
on that last train.
Or like my daddy says
Now there you’ve got your difference
Between a rock
And a hard place.

Bareboned

Bare boned
And stoned
Like a grave
With a fresh corpse inside
I got nothing to hide
No flesh
No skin
This is me
With all within
Bare
So if you dare
Walk into my graveyard
step into the mud
dig up the dirt
all the way to my heart

Erna

Ze liep met hem mee naar boven
Ze kon het bijna niet geloven
Tot ze zich verstapte op een losse tree
Met haar knie tegen de trap aan kletterde
Blauwe plek nummer twee
Oh sorry zei hij dat had ik even moeten zeggen
Maar nu weet je het
Dat was zo.
Hij pakte haar hand
ging haar voor de slaapkamer in.
Alles wit.
Misschien ook omdat hij een lamp aandeed waar ze net in keek
Ze knipperde.
Hij trok z’n sokken uit.
Ze vroeg zich af welke bedkant het dichtst bij de muur stond
Hij zag dat
Hij staat precies in het midden zei hij
Pakte haar hand.
Ze twijfelde
Niet om nu.
Om dat erna.
Dat erna dat er nog niet was, maar dat er onherroepelijk na zou komen.
Dàt erna
Er zijn ook mensen die Erna heten.
Dacht ze
Terwijl hij haar kuste
Er heten ook mensen Lente of Zomer. Heet er ook wel eens iemand Herfst? Het broertje van Lente heet Boris…
Hee, zei hij.
Hee jij, zei zij
Hee. Ik ben je muurtje.
Wat?
Ik zal je muurtje zijn
Erna moet maar even wachten,
was het laatste wat ze dacht.
aan het begin van deze onherroepelijke nacht.

Mr. Smitten

There he was
purring like a kitten
who wanted to play,
Mister Smitten
And his short stay.
Like how a passing summerbreeze
can put your mind at ease.
Or dipping your feet in a pool
just long enough
until you’re
cool enough
to continue your day…
It’s nice, ‘cause it lingers
like Mister Smitten fingers
on my back.
And after leavin’
I could still smell him
for quite some time.
His scent on my neck
where he’d say
“I want you to be mine”
He stayed on me
‘till the break of day
As close as my skin
and yet getting further
and futher away
That was the thing
It wasn’t even a fling
with Mister Smitten
– who I left smiling like a kitten,
It was
Well
I dunno
Something
for sure
A something
that happened
cool and summery
and could happen again.
easily breezily
Some day
2017©EvaK.Mathijssen